Occasionally something is said to me that shocks me.
The following two statements totally shocked me:

Shocking Statement #1:
Concerning Church membership, one Church leader said "we don't care if you've been married and divorced ten times."

Shocking Statement #2:
"Our Assistant Pastor is divorced and he isn't remarried, yet."

Shocking Statement #3: (What this Brother said to me totally shocked me because he has been the Pastor of a fundamental Baptist Church family for almost 30 years.)

My wife and I were invited to visit his local Church fellowship after being told by a member that they had recently had a major membership war over the issue of divorce and remarriage; his Pastor had taken the hard (unpopular) stand against divorce and remarriage and many of the members left the Church family.   One morning, after the worship service, my wife and I were discussing divorce and remarriage with his Pastor and he said to me, with my wife at my side, "Brother, I have thoroughly studied the Bible from cover to cover and I  have never found a single verse of Scripture that allows for remarriage following a divorce."  The Lord led me to press this issue just one step further with the question, "do you have the divorced and remarried in the membership," he replied, "we do not have the divorced and remarried in positions of leadership."  My spirit witnessed to me that he was hedging the truth, why didn't he answer my question?  As we were leaving, this Brother promised to call me so we could discuss fellowship.  We attended several more worship services and our phone never rang.  Out of disappointment and frustration I asked the same question in a letter and he responded with, "we have some divorced and remarried in our membership just as we have other members who are disobedient to the Word of God in their lives."  This Pastor has been the Pastor of that Church family for almost thirty years and yet, in violation of his own knowledge of the Word of God, he has allowed the divorced and remarried to be members of the Church family of which God has made him an Overseer and Protector.

Of the three shocking statements, Statement #3 is more disturbing, disappointing, discouraging and shocking because I simply do not understand what this Pastor is thinking.  We're fairly close in age and he remembers just as I do when our Christian families and Church family memberships were strong, vibrant and growing.

All three answers indicate that God's doctrine concerning the sanctity and permanence of marriage isn't highly esteemed by the Pastor or Church leaders, and, even more attention getting is that they are indicating that willful disobedience to God's known will isn't to be feared.  Personally, I confess to you that there are times when I frankly do not know if I obey the Word of God by faith or -- am I simply afraid of the Lord's anger.  The Apostle Paul said:   

"Wherefore we labor, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of Him. [10] For we must all appear before the judgment seat [Bema Seat] of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. [11] Knowing therefore the terror [Greek word Phobos means exceeding fear] of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are made manifest unto God; and I trust also are made manifest in your consciences, 2 Corinthians 5:9-11."

The writer of the letter to the dispersed Hebrews wrote:

 "How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace? [30] For we know Him who said, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay." And again, "The Lord will judge His people." [31] It is a terrifying {*Greek phoberos) thing to fall into the hands of the living God, Hebrews 10:29-31.

The letter to the Hebrews is written to the saved and unsaved Hebrews.  The context of these three verses is in conversation with the saved / Christian Hebrews and the writer, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is warning them to not turn away from their obedient faith that they had previously demonstrated.  To do that would would bring about the angry discipline of God in their lives.  *The Greek word, phoberos, means frightful, i.e. (object) formidable :- fearful, terrible

in a nutshell, Why Church membership or leadership isn't an option for the divorced and remarried:

1- God hates divorce [Malachi 2:16a].

Two questions:
(A) Why would our Righteous God reward someone with Church family
       membership and leadership for living something He hates?
(B) Would your earthly Dad reward you for doing something he warned
       you in writing, "I hate that"?

2- God calls divorce a violent and treacherous act, creating a violent
     and treacherous individual who lives a life of deception [Malachi 2:16b].

Question: Why would our Righteous God reward anyone with Church family membership and leadership for living a violent, treacherous and deceitful lifestyle? [1 Corinthians 5:8]

3- Jesus Christ said that divorce comes from hardheartedness, i.e. (special)
    destitution of (spiritual) perception [Matthew 19:8; Mark 10:5].

Question:   Jesus Christ, the Head of the Church, says to each one of us that divorce comes from a hard heart!  Why would our Righteous God and Saviour, Jesus Christ, reward someone with Church family membership and leadership for living life with a hardened heart?

4- God warns Church members that divorce and remarriage is a living
    lifestyle, 24-7-52, adultery [Romans 7:2-3, 1 Corinthians 7:39] and no
    adulterer, Church members included, will ever enter into the Kingdom
    of God / God's Heaven.  Links to explain why remarriage when a 
    divorced spouse is yet living is adultery:
                  The irrevocable one flesh relationship;
                  What is the seriousness of the "one Flesh Relationship";
                  The irrevocable wedding vows;
                  God will not honor our 21^st. Century Church "Absolution" of sin.

Question: If folks guilty of living in adultery cannot enter into the Kingdom of God, God's Heaven, how can they be Church family members and leaders here on earth? [1 Corinthians 6:10] (

5- God hasn't changed His mind about divorce and remarriage today.
    [Malachi 3:6; Hebrews 13:8].  

6- FACT: 
    Adulterers, and all other lifestyle sexual sinners, are specifically
    excluded in writing from attendance, membership and the Communion
    table.  [1 Corinthians 5:11-13].

Question: If folks living in adultery are excluded in writing from membership and the Communion Table of the local Church family, how can they possibly be Pastors or leaders?

7- Christ warned the Church concerning sexual sins in the Apostle Paul's
     first letter to the Churches at Corinth [1 Corinthians 5:1 - 7:39].

8- Christ warns the Corinthian church family again via the Apostle Paul's
     second letter to the Churches at Corinth that many had not repented of
     those sexual sins [2 Corinthians 13:21].

9- Christ's warning is, though they are Church members, they probably
     are not even Born Again [2 Corinthians 13:1-6].

FYI:
It makes no difference who you have been listening to, i.e. Dr. John McArthur, Dr. Charles Swindoll or Dr. James Dobson (as well as scores of others).  All three of these men, Dr. John McArthur, Dr. Charles Swindoll and Dr. James Dobson call remarriage a sin; as a sin, it must be repented of.  Repentance means to stop the sin (2 Corinthians 12:21; Ephesians 5:1-6; Colossians 3:1-6; Romans 6:12-16; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10) and not just admit that it is a sin.   To only admit a sin and not stop the sin results in unheard prayers.  Are these three men and all other Pastors, Church Family leaders and members guilty of the sin of granting an "Absolution" for a "particular" sin?  Follow this link -- ABSOLUTION FOR SIN -- and decide for yourself.  

John 9:31 
"Now we know that God does not hear sinners; but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does His will, He hears him." 

Job 27:8-9 
"For what is the hope of the hypocrite, though he may gain much, if God takes away his life? [9] Will God hear his cry
When trouble comes upon him?"

Proverbs 1:28 
"Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently, but they will not find me."

Proverbs 28:9 
"One who turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer is an abomination."

Isaiah 1:15 
"When you spread out your hands, I will hide My eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not hear.
Your hands are full of blood."

Question: Our Lord has warned us in writing, over and over again, why should Pastors, leaders and members be questioning why their families and ministries are self-destructing and dying?  

If you are a member of a Church and you are divorced and remarried, and, your divorced spouse is yet living, you have disqualified yourself from Church membership.  If you were a Pastor of a Church and you divorced, remarried and your divorced spouse is yet living, you are disqualified as a Pastor!  You did it to yourself.

The divorced and remarried in Church membership
in greater detail

Link to  the divorced and remarried in membership  (in greater detail)